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Worlds Smartest Inventions 13 transcript
man: Home, sweet, home. TV, don't fail me now. announcer: Cat's Meow, the exciting new cat toy.man: Cats?Come on.announcer: Don't you wanna be the guyor gal with the Big Hot Dog?man: No, thank you.announcer: Embarrassed by your ugly,calloused feet?man: Ugh!announcer: You need a Kookn' Kap.man: Commercial, commercial,commercial...(snoring)(doorbell ringing)announcer: Kevin, what are youwaiting for?Answer the door now!Kevin: Who is that?Okay, coming.announcer: The world's onlyremote-controlledsquirrel-proof birdfeeder.Kevin: Killer squirrels!woman: Oh!Kevin: Cougars in heat.woman: Yes, you can.Kevin: Ugh.Ahh!announcer: Introducing the IncredibleIndoor Banana Tree.Plump bananas...(cell phone ringing) voice: Hey, Kevin, it's yourfriends at "World's Dumbest."Along with 20 of the smartestinventions, you also get ourcast of hilarious comedians,free of charge.Kevin: No!What?Oh, it was only a dream.Kevin: Or was it?Kevin: Who are you?Kevin: I'm you.Relax yourself.Kevin: What's happening?Kevin: What's happening is"World's Smartest Inventions"starts now !Closed Captions Provided by truTVnarrator: Let's get started with the"World's Smartest Inventions."Coming in at number 20,the Bacon Bowl.announcer: Everybody loves bacon.The sizzle, the scent,the mouth-watering taste.Didn't think it couldget any better?Introducing Perfect Bacon Bowl,the easy way to make deliciousedible bowls out of bacon forfun, savory, crunchable yum.Malachi: Sorry, starvingAfrican children.I couldn't hear your stomachsgrowling over the sound of mycrunchy bowl made out of bacon.announcer: Eggs and hash brownsfor breakfast?It's better in a Bacon Bowl.Just wrap your favorite cut ofbacon around the PerfectBacon Bowl form and cook.Brendon: If you have a favorite cut ofbacon, you're eating waytoo much bacon.announcer: In just minutes, you'll havetasty, toastyPerfect Bacon Bowls.Kids want mac and cheese?Serve the perfect portionthat's sure to please.woman: I've made everybody'sfavorite, code-reddiabetes bites.Come get these littleswine pockets.announcer: The unique design allowsthe bacon to crisp up evenlywhile grease collects inthe channel so you can pour itout of your diet.Ted: And you can use the grease towash down your heart medication.announcer: Or make healthy egg whiteturkey bacon bowls.Chris: I'm sorry, I misheard that.Did you say "healthy"?announcer: Perfect Bacon Bowl makesbacon the star of every dish.Everything's better ina Perfect Bacon Bowl.Mike O.: Stop saying bacon bowl!announcer: Call now to get twoPerfect Bacon Bowls for $10.Annie: I wonder where allthe bacon-eating actors from theBacon Bowl commercial are now?♪♪announcer: How would you like to havebeautiful designer nailslike thesewithout having to go tothe salon and pay a fortune?Well, now, you can getprofessional salon results rightat home in just minuteswith Salon Express,the easy-to-use, do-it-yourselfdesigner nail kit.Katlyn: The manicure that says, yes,I did get my nails doneat the mall.No, not the nice mall.announcer: Just brush your polish ontothe image disc,scrape off the excess,transfer the design ontothe stamp and roll itonto your nail.woman: It's so easy.woman: It is easy, right?I mean, simple, easy,one, two, three.Jaime: It's as easy as one,two, three!Four, five, six.Kevin: Just 100 easy steps and ifyou mess one of them up,start all over!woman: With Salon Express, you willhave nails that looklike this in seconds.So now, I can do it myselfand you know what?People are gonna be commentingon it all night when I'm out.man: Oh, my God, Sharon, is thata flower on your nail?You look like a movie star withthat flower on your nail.Dan: This is like the nailequivalent of a *** stamp,only this lets you knowshe's not good in bed.woman: Don't you always want yournails to match your outfit?woman: Yes, I love that.Daisy: What could you possibly havethat would match this?announcer: Right now, you can get ourdesigner kit for just $10.As a bonus, we'll include ourFrench manicure discabsolutely free.Katlyn: Oh, the French manicure kitis included.For a second, I was like,this isn't for strippers.announcer: That's right.You get the designer kit,the French manicure discand the eight-piece manicureset all for only $10.Mike O.: I said no to this whenI found out they didn't evenoffer a Spiderman design.narrator: "World's Smartest Inventions"presents..."Why didn't I think of that?!?"announcer: On the beach, at partiesor even at the game.These folks have discovereda way to keep their drink closeby without having to hold it.Introducing The Beer Buckle.The world's only retractablecan-or-bottle-holdingbelt buckle.This simple stylish contraptionattaches to any beltand conveniently folds out tohold your drink of choice whileyou party it up hands-free.Beer cans, soda cans,water bottles, it's all goodwith The Beer Buckle.narrator: Now back to our countdown.Mike D.: Hi, Mike D.here for Squirrel Boss.Got a squirrel problem withyour birdfeeder?Get a Squirrel Bosssquirrel-proof birdfeeder.A Squirrel Boss birdfeedermakes you the boss.Dan: If you're the boss ofsquirrels, you're probably notthe boss of anything else.Mike D.: Just press the remote controland deliver a harmlessstatic-shock correctionthat conditions the squirrelsto stay away,so the birds can feed.man: Die, you cute littlesquirrel, die!♪♪man: Babe, you mind hanging thisSquirrel Boss in that treeoutside for me?Kaitlyn: That sounds like fun!man: Oh, you're the best, darling.Katlyn: Let's do it.man: Oh, yeah.Ooh!Katlyn: Where do you want meto put it?(screaming)man: Oh, I'm sorry, babe!Katlyn: Wait 'til I hang itin the tree!man: It's not me,it's the Squirrel Boss.It has a mind of its own.Mike D.: With the squirrels long gone,you'll save so much feed,I guarantee this productwill pay for itself.Sunah: How expensive is birdseed?Are we buying it at Sotheby's?Barney's?I don't understand.Mike D.: Squirrel Boss is the world'sonly remote-controlledsquirrel-proof birdfeeder.Be the boss, get a Squirrel Bosssquirrel-proof birdfeeder.man: Order right now and we'llthrow in the Squirrel Bossslow cooker.narrator: Coming up...announcer: The IncredibleIndoor Banana Tree!narrator: You've never seen doomsdayprepping like this.And...an invention with a magic touch.Plus, a stone-cold great idea.announcer: The Rock Can can store allyour pet waste needs outsidein an inconspicuous way.narrator: But first...Kevin: I need to know whatthe number-onesmartest invention is.devil: What's in it por moi?Kevin: Excuse me?devil: Por moi.It means "for me" in French.I'm trying to spice things up--Forget it.What's in it for me?Kevin: Uh, $500,000.devil: Not enough.Kevin: $1 million.devil: Not enough!Here's a taste of the number-onemoment and perhaps after you'veseen it, you'll reconsideryour meager offer!announcer: The dry, hard skin willpeel right off.You won't believe your eyes.Kevin: Okay, then,I'll give you anything.devil: Anything?In that case, your soul.Kevin: Deal!devil: Stick around, 'causethe number-one smartestinvention is coming up.♪♪♪♪narrator: Our number-17 smartestinvention...announcer: Attention, gardenersand fruit lovers!Why settle for mushy, overripeand rotten store-bought bananaswhen you can grow your ownluscious heart-healthy bananasby the bunch?man: Boy, I could sure go fora banana right now.Ew, what is that, from a store?Gross!announcer: Introducing the IncredibleIndoor Banana Tree!Imagine growing dozens ofdelicious potassium-packedbananas for you and yourwhole family to enjoyright in your very own home.man: Now I can have bananas injust the amount of time ittakes a tree to grow!(clock ticking)woman: Kids, I think I see a banana!announcer: You can add them to cereal,make banana bread,banana splits, muffins,the perfect school snackor just take them on the go.Dan: You can use all these bananasin the same ways that you canuse bananas!It's incredible.announcer: Tired of nagging your kidsto eat healthy snacks?They'll love the excitementthese trees will bringand will be anxious to pickand eat them with their friends.Brendon: Listen, kids, Daddy madea bad investment, so we gottaeat bananas all the time, likea bunch of (bleep) damn monkeys!We're a banana family now!announcer: Everyone will simply gobananas for these bananas.A great conversation pieceand learning experience.Kevin: A great conversation piece?Really?How's that go?Oh, is that anIncredible Banana Tree?Chris: Yes.announcer: But wait, there's more!Buy one IncredibleIndoor Banana Tree and geta second banana tree free!Limited supply, don't wait,order now.Chris: Call now, operatorsare standing by.Hello, Banana Tree.Can I take your order?Sorry, can you hold?Hello, Banana Tree,can I take your order?Oh, can you hold?I'm sorry, I have another line.Hello, all of you, do you wantbanana trees?Yes, I'm talking to you now.Can you hear me?woman: Ooh!Kevin: Is this just a home video ofsome girl's birthday party?No?This is a real commercial?Okay, continue.woman: What is this?woman: Ooh!woman: That is the uTouch.Okay, so you slide your fingersin here, turn it on right thereand then you just...Oh...woman: Oh!Ted: How do I get invited to thismagical massage party?woman: So here's the deal, ladies.If you can touch it,you can relieve it.woman: Oh!Yes, you can.(all laughing)Katlyn: If you can touch it,you can relieve it.Know what I'm saying?Chris: Hey, man, do you want tohang out?Like, now?My mom's having one of herold lady sex parties.woman: I can feel this downto my toes.woman: Now hold on a minute,when do we get a try?Sean: Hey, kids!Your *** grandma is ina commercial!Sunah: And for her birthday, she getsto know what her mom's"Oh-face" looks like.announcer: The gentle power of uTouchtwin touch-point technologybreaks up painful stressand tension in your hands,shoulders, forehead,temples, sinuses,calves, feet,ankles, neck...Brendon: Um, I think you guys lefta body part out.woman: All right, give it back.woman: No!woman: You're enjoying it too much.John: Let's just keep those camerasrolling, 'cause I got a feeling,another half a wine spritzerlater, they're gonna bescissoring.woman: Oh...>> "World's Smartest Inventions"presents..."Manvention".announcer: Few things in life areas functional and awesomeas the Beardo hat.It's a beanie with a beard.The oversized Beardo doesn'tjust make you lumberjack cool,it also keeps you warm.Beardos are knitted with 100%acrylic yarn, keeping youcozy without irritation.Available in different colors,the Beardo is ideal forsnowboarding, skiing,hiking or just keeping warm.So drop your beard envyand pick up a Beardo.announcer: This has been"World's Smartest... Manvention".At number 15 on our countdown...woman: Let's put this in the garage.girl: No, it'll smell in there.woman: Oh, you're right.Well, that doesn't look verygood, either.I wish we had a betterplace to put it.Kevin: Yeah, nobody stacks bags ofdog crap in front oftheir garage.That's not a real problem that'sever happened for anybody.announcer: Introducing the Rock Can,a new type of functionallandscaping.Instead of keeping dog wastebags in your garageand smelling it upor having unsightly bags infront of your house,use the Rock Can.Daisy: It looks like a rock,but it's full of (bleep)!announcer: The Rock Can can store allyour garbage and pet waste needsoutside in an inconspicuous way.Mark: This is gonna be a bad nightwhen you come home drunkand you're looking for yourHide-a-Key.announcer: It can hold your pet waste.It can go by the pool tokeep your pool chemicals in.It can go on the deck so youcan hold party drinks in it.man: Now remember, everyone.The fake rock on the left is fordog poop, but the fake rock onthe right is forMike's Hard Lemonade.Who wants one?announcer: It can go by your grillso you can...... throw your waste away.Jaime: What was that pause?A cliffhanger?Mike O.: It can go by the grillso you can...Let me just turn this page here.Throw your waste away!announcer: It can do so many things.It's portable and lightweight.Move it where you need it.Katlyn: Then when the Rock Can isfull, just transfer the poopto the garbage.You get to touch the poop twice!announcer: The Rock Can, order now!Ted: Just throw your bags of(bleep) on people's roofslike everyone else.announcer: Tried every diet.Nothing seems to work.Now there's Stink Yourself Slim,a new weight-loss aid that killsyour appetite by sprayinga bad smell near your food.man: You hear that,other diet companies?You might as well shut it down.This lady figured out theperfect weight-loss solution.Liquid ***!♪♪Dan: Ugh!Whoa.That's really gross.announcer: Stink Yourself Slim wasinvented by Miss Alex Fontaine.Alex: I had a eureka momentwhen I was at a party.Jared: Oh, my God, it's ahalf-woman, half-skunk hybrid!Alex: And there was a really,really bad smell andI couldn't eat the buffet.At the party, I met my newbest friend, Sally Skunk.She's inspired me to createStink Yourself Slim.Mark: She met a skunk at a party?What kind of party is this?Kevin: Are we supposed to buya skunk now?I'm totally confused.Alex: I lost ten kilos withStink Yourself Slimand it's helped keepthe weight off.Malachi: From the look of her body,she could have put a little morestank on it.Alex: I can't believe a bad smellhas changed my life.You can do it.Stink Yourself Slim.Sean: Wow, that looks delicious.Mike O.: Yeah, it's a lobster.Duh.What are you eating?Sean: Ham sandwich.Mike O.: Ham sandwich, boring.Sean: Oh, my god, look behind you,a mugger!Mike O.: What?How did they even get in here?Wait, there's no mugger.Oh!What is that smell?I've lost my appetite.Sean: Well, I guess you won'tbe eating this.narrator: Coming up...(cat meowing)... a new way tomess with your cat.announcer: Order your very ownCat's Meow.narrator: And the real housewives ofColonial Williamsburg.announcer: You need a Kookn' Kap.narrator: Plus,what happens when C-notesand C-cups meet?announcer: Stuff your bra withThe Racktrap.narrator: Find out when "World'sSmartest Inventions" continues.♪♪announcer: Do you love cooking, havinga dinner party for yourgirlfriends and preparing somefood filled with aroma?Does the smell of your deliciousfood get in your hair?Katlyn: Man, I hate it when myhair smells delicious.announcer: If so, you needa Kookn' Kap.This trendy yet comfortable andstylish Kookn' Kap will saveany blowout and keep your hairsmelling fresh and lookinglike you just styled it.Ted: Or push that dinner partyback 15 minutes and jump inthe shower, you pig.announcer: Kookn' Kap.It keeps the smells of eggs,bacon, sausage, omelets,hash brownsand pretty much anything elseout of your hair.man: You're gonna have to put thiscap on, baby, if you want meto have sex with you,'cause I can't do it with yourhair smelling like steakand potatoes and baby carrotsand cheesecake for dessert.announcer: Are you a working momon the go?Do you want to make breakfastfor your family and stillmake it to work on time?woman: It saved me so much time fromhaving to wash my hair, that nowI can dedicate my life toironing my husband's shirts.announcer: And men can wear it, too.man: How do I look, everyone?Like a nurse from the '20s?announcer: Not only does the Kookn' Kapkeep the smell out of your hair,it also keeps hairout of your food.Rachel: Why is she dressed like she'sin a soft-core Quaker ***?man: Kookn' Kap is most effectivenaked so the rest of yourclothes don't smell.Don't pan down.You don't want to get my spatulain the shot.announcer: You can have your very ownfor as low as 9.95.Hair smell like crap?Get a Kap!Kevin: Who said anything about hairsmelling like crap?Don't cook crap.Easy solution.(doorbell ringing)announcer: You wouldn't lather and shaveon the way to your dateand you wouldn't carry a big,bulky electric razor in yourpocket all day.But now, there's a quickand easy way to shaveyour face anyplace.Introducing Shave Bullet,the finger-sized razor thatshaves fast as a bulletand close as a blade,for the cleanest,most convenient shave ever.Brendon: Yeah, guys, keep that shavenice and close.Nobody wants a gross dude witha beard.announcer: Keep it in your briefcase soyou can touch up in a moment'snotice for those unexpectedbusiness meetings.Jared: This is a time-managementissue.Why didn't you shave before youleft the house?announcer: Or shave away 5:00 shadowat the office so you'll lookgreat in time for your date.Daisy: If you're living ina train stationand the bigger homeless peoplewon't let you near the sink,Shave Bullet.Dan: Shave Bullet is most famousfor its nice, relaxingapplication.(yelling)announcer: Shave Bullet is the littleshaver the big razor companiesdon't want you to know about.Chris: The big razor companies havebeen driving by my houselate at night.They scare my wife,they scare my kids.It's all because of what I knowabout the Shave Bullet.announcer: Plus, Shave Bullet iswaterproof so you can even shaveunder the waves.Ted: Finally, I can shavein my neighbor's pool.announcer: Use in the shower and getthe closeness of a wet shavewith the convenienceof an electric.Mike O.: Okay, gorgeous girl that'sin the shower with me, relax,I'll be done in a minute.Then it's all yours.announcer: So if you want a close,comfortable shave at anunbeatable price...man: I do-- I-- I do.announcer: Then call now and getthe amazing Shave Bullet,a $25 value, for just $10.Judy: Does this vibrate, too?You know what, I'll beright back.announcer: So don't delay, order today.narrator: And now, "Not So SmartInventions in History."singers: ♪ It's a new thing ♪♪ It's a fun thing ♪♪ It's the Swing Wing ♪Kevin: Oh, so basically,it's like a toy seizure.announcer: It's a what?singers: ♪ It's the Swing Wing ♪♪ It's the wing ding ♪♪ A brand-new trend ♪♪ To have fun thing ♪Mike O.: Before these kids discoveredalcohol, they needed a fun wayto damage their brainsand the Swing Wing was it.singers: ♪ It's the Swing Wing ♪♪announcers: Get Swing Wing,where the fun comes from.narrator: And that was "Not So SmartInventions in History."Now back to our countdown.announcer: Ladies, for years, we havebeen hiding all kinds ofthings in our bra.Now you can look and feel smart,safe and sexy when you stuffyour bra with The Racktrap.Jared: I don't know what you've beenhiding in your bra,but women haveclothes with pockets now.announcer: It's an undetectableone-size-fits-allpersonal bra pocketthat holds everyday essentialsconveniently in your bra.woman: Oh, you have a cut?Yeah, no, I have a Band-Aidsomewhere really wetand warm in my bra.Let me find it.announcer: With The Racktrap, you canskip the purse and still haveyour valuables withineasy reach.Mike O.: I noticed condoms are onthe list of everyday items.That's presumptuous.And a little slutty.Kevin: If you're the kind of personwho would consider hidingcondoms in your ***, you'realso probably the kind of personwho doesn't use condoms.woman: I've been pickpocketed a fewtimes in my life, so withThe Racktrap, it keepseverything rightwhere it belongs.Jaime: Life just got a little moreexciting for pickpockets.man: Now if they want to stealmy valuables, they have tosteal my *** as well.woman: On the right, I keep my cash,my credit cards, my licenseand on the left, you never knowwho you're gonna meet,so I keep my business cards.Mark: That's real professional.How you doing?Kim Jones, attorney at law,here's my warm card.announcer: If you wear a bra or you knowsomebody that does,you need The Racktrap.Brendon: And if you're a new mother,don't forget to removeThe Racktrap beforebreastfeeding your baby,or else it'll chokeon all the condoms, Band-Aidsand lipstick you havestored in there.narrator: At number ten on ourcountdown...announcer: Your cat gets bored and wantsto play, but that can spelltrouble when you're away.Introducing Cat's Meow,the exciting new cat toythat keeps your kittyentertained at playboth night and day.Jared: Don't you hate it when youkeep an animal in your house andit still behaves like an animal?How annoying.announcer: Just press the buttonand watch Cat's Meow silentlyattract your pet instantly.Just like a scurrying mouse,Cat's Meow swings back andforth, peeking in and out ofthe carousel cover.Mike O.: This thing doesn'tdo anything.I mean, it's so...announcer: Older cats can get fatand lazy and that's not healthy.With Cat's Meow, your catis so active.You'll turn lazy kittyinto crazy kitty.Daisy: I like to give my catsa workout, really get 'emenergized so they can go tearthe (bleep) out of my couch.announcer: You'll enjoy hours of funwatching your cat and mouse.Annie: If you have that much time towatch your cat play with a toy,you probably have enough time toplay with your cat.announcer: Order your very ownCat's Meow for thespecial TV price of just 19.99.Kevin: Okay, Mr. Cat,now, Daddy's gonna be backtomorrow, but you have funplaying with your new toy, okay?cat: Meow, meow!Kevin: Oh, no!Mr. Cat!cat: Meow, meow.narrator: Coming up...announcer: Is your pet a peeing machine?Spraying on the carpet, couchand all over the house.narrator: The magical invention thatmakes toilets obsolete.And...woman: With these glasses I now feelmore confident.narrator: More flair, less glare.Plus...woman: Always trust your grandma.narrator: Old women... for sale?But first, a clue to thenumber-one smartest invention.man: Hey, magical voice in myphone, how do I get toAndre's Pizza?voice: Did you say,"Shave my foot"?man: No--No, why would anyone say that?Local pizza place!voice: Hard, dry foot skin.man: What's your angle,magical voice?What are you getting at?voice: It's the number-one smartestinvention.It uses chemicals andelbow grease to make youless disgusting.man: Okay, now I just really wantto know what you'retalking about.voice: You can, at the end ofthe show.man: Oh, there's always a catchwith you, isn't there?♪♪♪♪Jared: Hello, I'm world-famousinventor Dr. Logan Jaredson.And here's what we'velearned so far.Not all *** stamps are onthe lower back.woman: You will have nails thatlook like this in seconds.woman: Love it.Jared: Americans are disgusting.announcer: It's better in a Bacon Bowl.Jared: Women's lib never happened.announcer: You need a Kookn' Kap.Jared: And finally, one man's trashis another man's trashin a rock.And that's what we'velearned so far.Now back to our countdown.Hello?Where'd everyone go?narrator: Our number ninesmartest invention.announcer: Eyes straining at night?Struggling with glarefrom oncoming lights?You need visual clarity.Get it instantly withNight View NV,the glare-reduction glassesthat turn fuzzy and dull intoclear and bright, even at night.Mike T.: Are your eyesstraining at night?Well, then get off the roadbefore you kill someone withnormal eyes!woman: Oh, my goodness.When I drive at night,the light coming toward me,it really bothers me.These are giving me clarity.Katlyn: I shouldn't legally be onthe road at all, but with thesejazzy sunglasses,I'm ready to kill.announcer: The secret is speciallycoated yellow lenses that blockthe blue light that causesnighttime glare.Mike O.: What I like to do to see atnight in my car is turnthe headlights on.woman: With these glasses,I now feel more confident.Jaime: If you looked in the mirror,you might feel less confident.announcer: Similar glasses can cost asmuch as $400, but during thisspecial TV offer, you'll receiveone pair of Night View NVglasses for just $10.Katlyn: I'm not good at math,but that's, like, a savings ofhow dumb do you think I am?announcer: Call or log on now.announcer: Are you fed up with hiringdomestic help who are clueless?Young girls who are moreinterested in texting theirfriends while your little onesare left unattended?It doesn't have to be that way.Rent a Grandma is here to help.Jared: Kids, we didn't hirea babysitter we know.We rented an old womanwe've never met.announcer: Rent a Grandmas are carefullyscreened mature women who meetthe high standards you demandfor your family.man: I can't stand it whenthe 17-year-old neighbor girlcomes over in short shortsand just lays around my house,but thanks to Rent a Grandma,now I have an octogenarianthat likes to play Candy Land.announcer: Our friendly grandmas love tonanny, cook,clean, pet-sit and evenhelp out with homework.Mark: All right, I'll do myhomework, then we'll do yourcolostomy bag, Ethel.announcer: Just like a real grandmother,Rent a Grandmas are lovingand affectionate.Kevin: But what if I get reallyattached to the grandma?Is there a rent-to-own option?announcer: With decades of experience,our grandmas are loyal,dependable and arrive on time.Judy: Did someone callRent a Grandma?If you wanted Mary Poppins,you should have rentedthe (bleep) movie.woman: Grandma has made my lifeso much easier.Having her here, an extra pairof hands just helping out...Katlyn: Sure, why not put someonewho refers to cell phones as"thingamabobs" in charge ofdialing 9-1-1.woman: Always trust your grandma.Chris: Always trust her?What if she touched me inmy bathing suit area?announcer: To reserve your own grandma,call today.Call now and receive a tin ofGrandma's delicioushome-baked cookies.man: Order now.Seriously, order now.These grandmothers are droppinglike flies in the warehouse.man: Hello, Rent a Grandma?I'm interested in Gertrude,she looks ***.I mean, nice!♪♪narrator: And now..."The Loneliest Inventorin the World".His invention,the kissing machine.man: If you take one device inyour mouth and turn itwith your tongue,the other device turnsthe same way.It's pretty cool.narrator: That was the loneliestinventor in the world.Now back to our countdown.At number seven...announcer: Is your pet a peeing machine?Spraying on the carpet, couchand all over the house,and what about that awful urinesmell that never goes away?When you want it gone, there'sUrine Gone, the odor and staineliminator with amazingenzyme action.Brad: If your house is covered inthat much urine,just burn it downand start over.announcer: Watch as we expose thishidden urine spot toa stain-revealing black light.Kevin: Oh, good, you can use that toeasily find old stains,if that's what you want to dofor some reason.announcer: Just spray it onand it's gone.Urine Gone's amazing enzymeshave an appetite for urine.man: I'm sorry, I was wondering ifit's possible for me to neverheard the phrase"appetite for urine" again.woman: With Urine Gone, I just sprayand the odor goes awayand stays away.Brendon: Yes, but does it work onGrandma smell?announcer: And it's not just forpet accidents.Urine Gone knocks out odors andstains in the bathroom and helpseliminate embarrassing toughstains and smellsall around the house.Rachel: Kathy, this place isteeming with ***!Did you have a hobo conventionin here?announcer: You get the supersized bottleof Urine Gone for just $10.But wait, there's more!We'll include this black lightstain detective free.man: I'm John Rockwell,urine detective.Where were you at 2:00 a.m.last night after you had a tallglass of water at midnight?Answer the question!announcer: Call or log on now!♪♪announcer: Since ancient times,mankind has been bad atsaving money.We thought thatmaybe it's a problemdue to wallets,not people.Introducing Living wallet.Jared: In ancient times,man didn't have money.He traded crops.Did you guys researchthis at all?announcer: When you try to reach it,Living wallet willautomatically evade.Malachi: It will evade every attemptat spending money you don't havewith the speed ofa crippled snail.Chris: Listen, I'm sorry,I can't pay rent this month.My wallet literally ran away.(tires screeching)Oh, God, it stole my car.announcer: If it gets caught,it will start screamingasking for help.wallet: No, don't touch me!Help!Help me!Jaime: I don't need my wallet tosound like a women in distress.I do that just fineon my own, thank you.announcer: Living wallet workstogether with a bookkeepingapp called "Zaim."Kevin: Oh, so it's a wallet thatcan run away from mewith my financial information.What could go wrong?announcer: If you exceed yourpredetermined budget,Living wallet is also equippedto automatically call friendsand family for help.(cell phone ringing)Rachel: Hello? wallet: Hey, it's Billy's wallet.We got trouble.Rachel: Just a second.It's my loser son's walletand he's trying to buya *** online again.Run! wallet: Okay.man: See what you did?You shut your mouth!You shut your stupidwallet mouth!narrator: Coming up...announcer: Now you can safely removethose tags with no damageand no pain with the Wizor.narrator: Cutting-edge technology.And *** implants for men.Plus...announcer: The headset gives you perfectcomfort for movies, eBooksor gaming.narrator: A new way to get stuck onthe phone,when "World's SmartestInventions" continues.♪♪announcer: Oh, no!You ripped a hole in yourbrand-new shirt.Those retail store tags canbe such a nuisance,but not anymore.Introducing The WizorWall Scissors.Gilbert: If you call somethingThe Wizor,I'm gonna *** on it,just out of principle.announcer: Simply peel and stickThe Wizor in your closet,your kitchen, your garage,and you'll never go searchingfor scissors again.Mark: You know what I likeabout scissors?They're not glues to a leg ofa table in the garage.announcer: Whether it's a pair of pants,a backpack, or sporting goods,they always have thosepesky retail tags.Daisy: Take your piece of clothing,try several times to cutthe tag, then use your teethas you would normally do.announcer: With our protective shield,The Wizor is safe and easyfor kids to use.Mike O.: Of course it's safe for kids,why wouldn't it be?It's a razorblade attachedto the wall.announcer: Order today and we'll sendyou not one but two Wizorsfor just $10.man: I'm sorry, did you say$10 for two razorblades?Put that number on the screenbefore I forget which end ofthe phone to talk into.announcer: New tennis racket?Wizor it.Frayed jeans.Wizor it.New decoration?Wizor it!woman: Unwanted *** hair?Wizor it!Boyfriend cheating on you?Wizor it!narrator: And now, a homemadeinvention that sucks.man: The Cake-O-Matic!narrator: This is Colin.He loves cake so much that heinvented a way to get it intohis mouth as fast as possible.(laughing)(laughing)Colin: Yes!narrator: Better luck next time, Colin.Our number-four smartestinvention comes to us fromJapan.Introducing the Scentee,a new smartphone accessorythat releases delicioussmells into the airto make your mind thinkthe bland food you're eating isactually a much tastier dish.Katlyn: Move over, pesky real food.Hello, phone huffing.announcer: Are we ready to savor this?Let's say you're a studentwith no money.Malachi: A student with no money?Please.I guess that sweet hoodiebought itself.announcer: All you need is somewhite rice and your stomachwill feel satisfied.commentator: Mmm!Gilbert: So that white rice doesn'ttaste like white rice anymore?Yeah, and I'mScarlett Johansson.announcer: Now, let's say there'sa couple going out on a date.Mike T.: Let's say we kidnappeda couple and forced them to havedinner together in ourresearch prison.I mean, restaurant.announcer: We're pretty sure this willhelp bring them closer.Kevin: Am I crazy or is this ricethat smells like steakabout to get me laid?announcer: Let's say you're a womanon a diet.Jared: Nobody eats a bowlof lettuce.That just has never--That doesn't ever happen.That's a crazy person.Katlyn: Hurry up and download,you stupid app.This lettuce just tasteslike lettuce!announcer: A whole new approach to food.Tasting and savoring foodwith your nose.Mike O.: Or just do what I do and eatthe food that you wanna eat.announcer: Are you tired of lookingskinny and scrawny?Do you long for big musclesto boost your confidenceand impress the girls?Then you need Funkybod,the revolutionary newmuscle top for men.Jared: Usually, I lie to women aboutwhat I do to get them into bed.But now, thanks to the Funkybod,I can lie to them about howI look, to their faces!announcer: Funkybod is amuscle-enhancing shirt thataccentuates the pectorals,shoulders biceps and tricepsIt's like a workout in a shirt!Kevin: This is great for that personwho wants that sexy "I gota bunch of tumors" look.announcer: Worn as a normalundergarment, the Funkybod topis a great confidence boosterfor men.And the best part?No one will ever knowyou're wearing one.Dan: No one can even tell thatyour muscles are fake,except everyone who knows youor has seen you recently.Mike T.: Confession time.I've been wearing one of theseon every episode.I'm actually a little chubby.announcer: Everyone will notice your newmojo and your new physique.Gilbert: It'll make you look likeyou're wearing a T-shirtthat doesn't fit.Mark: I don't get this whole thing.I'm just gonna stick tothe old sock in the pants.announcer: So get your Funkybod todayand get funky.Mike B.: The illusion is great whenyou're out in the street,but if you should get lucky,that's on you, dude.woman: Should we, uh, get a littlebit more comfortable?man: Sure.woman: Where did your pecs go?Sean: My pecs?They're on the floor nextto my shoes.Should I put 'em back on?(door closing)narrator: "Inventions thatnobody asked for."announcer: Tired of the same oldtraditional tiny hot dog?Well, now there's newBig Hot Dog.When you put tiny hot dogs ona plate, grill or othercooking device, they rollall over the place.Big Hot Dog solves allthe problems inherentto tiny hot dogs.The secret isthat the Big Hot Dogis sliced into patties forcooking and eating perthe consumer's desire.It won't roll around on thegrill and it's going to cookthoroughly and evenly everytime, so next time you go toa barbecue, picnic or party,don't you wanna be the guyor gal with the Big Hot Dog?Order yours today.narrator: That was "Inventions thatNobody Asked For."At number two on our countdown,from Germany, is a new inventioncalled the Headflat.Renata: My name is Renata and I'mthe social web representativeof Headflat.Kevin: I don't know what she'sselling, but I am interested.announcer: The Headflat isa new technology.It is worn on top of your headand attaches to your smartphoneso you can go hands-free.man: After a while I noticed thatalways keeping the phone in myhand while I'm watchingis not very comfortable.The Headflat gives you perfectcomfort for movies,eBooks or gaming.Ted: Finally, the ultimate goal.You don't have to doanything, ever.announcer: With the Headflat,your smartphone looks the sameas a 60-inch flat screen froma distance of only 3 meters.Annie: Yeah, but if you're watchinga movie with your girlfriend,it's gonna make ithard to make out.I'm just kidding, you don't havea girlfriend.man: We are professionals indeveloping the Headflat.The controller is a veryimportant part for our project.Chris: So just to clarify, you'veinvented a hands-free devicethat comes with a controller youhave to hold with your hands?man: Headflat in combination withour controller is pureaction and fun.You can play it everywhere likea mobile gaming console thatyou almost have already.Mike O.: The most innovative thingabout this commercial is thatit features an Asian German.Who invented that?man: Join us in the next level ofusing a smartphone.With our Headflat, we guaranteeyou fun and you will definitelyhave more than justa smartphone.Dan: What's up with those puppets?Seriously, those two puppetsjust video-bombed this whole--No one?man: So thank you and goodbye.Bryan: Sir, I'm not interested inyour invention, because it's,uh, oh, yeah, ridiculous,but is the girl for sale?narrator: And now, your final clue tothe number-one smartestinvention.Kevin: You're in the barracuda pit.Pitch me!Sean: Oh, boy, have I got aninvention for you!Katlyn: Can we see it?Sean: No.Kevin: Not a great start, buddy.Sean: But I can tell you, it takesexfoliating to the extreme.Mike B.: Okay, I'm intrigued.Sean: It can even fill an entiretrash can with dead skin.Really!Katlyn: Sounds gross.Sean: Oh, it is.But here's the best part.It uses chemicals to make yournasty feet lookslightly less nasty.Kevin: You know what?I'm in.Mike B.: Me too.Katlyn: This sounds like the world'snumber one smartest invention.When can you have it readyfor us?Sean: By the end of the show.To Mom's basement!♪♪♪♪narrator: And now, it's time to revealthe number-one smartestinvention.announcer: Tired of ripped pantyhose?Embarrassed by your ugly,calloused feet?You've tried everything.Nothing works.Stop.Introducing Callous Clear,the brand-new miraclecallous-removing systemthat you can doright at home in just minutes.Katlyn: Introducing Callous Clear,the brand-new--(gagging)Callous removing--(gagging)announcer: Just one simple application,your feet will feel baby soft.Look at the difference.man: Am I looking at callousesor full-blown gangrene?Kevin: That one was actuallya lizard.No way that's not aniguana foot.announcer: Apply the callous softenergel to the remover patch,place the patch on the callousedarea and in just a few minutes,the dry, hard skin willpeel right off.You won't believe your eyes.Katlyn: Apply the flesh-eatingchemicals directly to yourGod-forsaken feetand let the dark magicdo its thing.woman: I had a huge callous onthe side of my foot and toeI could never get rid of.With Callous Clear, I was ableto get rid of it quicklyand easily and now,I can wear my sandals again.Daisy: I can finally tellmy boyfriend he's datinga real model.A disgusting"before" foot model.man: For years, my wife complainedabout my calloused feet.I tried filing them.That didn't work.We got Callous Clear,the callouses were removedquickly and easilyand I was amazed.Brendon: My wife still won't touch me,but what are you gonna do?announcer: Order your Callous Clear Kit,the callous softener gel,foot balmand the two-in-one scraperand file for just $10.Chris: And if you call now, we'llthrow in shoes, 'cause you'veclearly never worn them.Mike O.: Honey, you coming to bed?Rachel: In a minute.I almost have enough tofill the duvet.Mike O.: Oh, yum.Sean: Oh, my God!Look right--Sorry.Mike O.: Whoa!Oh!Sweet pickles!Oh, what is that smell?Oh, my gosh.Sean: This is getting fun.Mike O.: I don't know where that camefrom, where did that smellcome from?Sean: I have no idea.Mike O.: Maybe that muggerbrought it in.Where do smells come from?That's an interesting question.Oh, my gosh.